If you are an accomplished midlife woman who feels like you've been playing out roles for everyone else, chances are you have been unconsciously falling into one or more of these patterns:

• You sit at your computer, surrounded by spiritual books and magazines. Multiple browser tabs are open, each displaying a different spiritual community website. You bookmark yet another page, the frustration evident on your face as you continuously search for a community that fits your spiritual beliefs
• You sit down to meditate, posture straight, hands resting on his knees. You take a deep breath, close your eyes, and begin your daily meditation practice. Then your face scrunches as you try once again, try to connect with your spirit guides. After several minutes, you open your eyes, as you do not feel any different.
• You lie in bed, tossing and turning up to 3 nights a week... sheets are all tangled up from fidgeting. You look at the clock, realizing it’s the middle of the night again, and your mind is racing with so many thoughts. You are exhausted and you can’t seem to go back to sleep and quiet your mind.
• You have a secret spiritual life, you meditate, do oracle cards, talk to spirit guides, only when you are home alone because you are afraid people are going to think you are weird and judge you.
• You blow up at people you are close to you, when you have a stressful day, because deep down you are frustrated, that you feel you have to keep your authentic spiritual life a secret because, you are afraid people will judge you for being too weird and woo-woo.

If you have been unknowingly slipping into one or more of these self-sabotaging patterns than you are likely making these mistakes:

• Overemphasis on fixing others and focusing on helping others while neglecting personal growth and self-care, leading to feelings of exhaustion and burnout.
• Your on line library is overflowing with personal growth books and courses, but actually following through? You've left more unfinished than you can count.
• Blaming your challenges on other people, and your past experiences.
• Avoidance through distractions. You stay busy!! You engage in activities such as trips, home renovations, or helping others to avoid addressing personal emotional and spiritual needs.
• Over reliance on occasional retreats and classes. You depend on infrequent trips or classes to feel empowered and connected to spirit, only to return to the same routines and feelings once back home.
• You blow up at people you are close to, when you have a stressful day, because deep down you are frustrated that you feel you have to keep your authentic self and spiritual life a secret.